Overwhelmed

First of all, let me say that I am sincerely sorry if I concerned anyone with my absence.

I certainly had no intentions of causing anyone to worry about me.

I actually didn't intend to disappear, either. I have been under tremendous (albeit self-imposed) pressure to be the best I can possibly be at my new job. My new job is in the IT department at my alma mater. It's so difficult to work with my former professors - I know they know I'm smart, so now I feel like I can't say "I don't know" because I don't want to sound like an idiot or (worse) let anyone down. Even though, in my field, there are MANY times when "I don't know" is the appropriate response. (For those who are unfamiliar with information technology, programming, and computer science, sometimes it isn't necessarily about how much you know about something as much as it is about knowing where to look for the answer.) The thing is that I love this job and all the people there so much, so I want them all to think I'm perfect.

And then there's TSCS. I got sooooo far behind when I switched jobs, and despite my best efforts, I have not only not been able to catch up, but I've been falling farther and farther behind. Unlike a lot of other blogs, this is a one (wo)man Show. I used to pride myself on the fact that, even though I do this all on my own, I was able to respond to every single e-mail that I received within three days. Now my inbox is full of game day pictures, Roaming Penguins stories, links, requests for info and/or link exchanges, and other items that are backed up all the way to mid-September.

I loathe being disorganized and behind, so for a while now I've been getting really overwhelmed when I sign in and see how far behind I actually let myself fall. But I didn't (and still really don't) want to say anything to you guys about it because I didn't want you to think that I no longer want you to e-mail me - because that's DEFINITELY not the case. I don't know if you realize that when I call you Friends of The Show I really mean that you are friends of mine. But now that I've let it get this far, I feel like I'm letting all of you down, too.

All of this, plus missing my friend Fred, on top of the always stressful preparations for Christmas... well, it finally got to be too much, so I just abruptly decided to take a break and just kind of retreat for a few days. I haven't powered on my home computer since Friday afternoon until now. I didn't really answer my phone, either. In retrospect, I now realize that was kind of selfish of me, and I apologize for not publishing an "I'm taking a break" post.

But I'm feeling better about most things today because I had a good talk with a good friend who reminded me that perfection in ANY area of my life is 100% unattainable and that I need to just accept it and relax a bit. Though, I think "a bit" is a bit of an understatement! :P

I've got a twelve day break coming up for Christmas and New Year's during which I have decided that I am going to fire off a handful of "catch up" posts (like the ones I did back when I first got this job), so hopefully you all can bear with me for just a little bit longer.

I have also decided that when I am done writing this post, I'm done beating myself up for not being able to keep up. I still love doing The Show. :) I'll do the best I can to catch up, and hopefully it's enough. And if it's not, that's okay, too. I'll just keep recapping the games as they're played and using off days to post the great stuff you all have sent me, and if I have to wait until the summer to get to everything in my inbox, eventually I will get it all posted.

Again, please know that I'm so sorry for causing anyone to worry about me, and I thank all of you so much for your concern. And now it's time for us to focus on more important things...

GO PENS!!!!!