Prepare For Battle

Okay, I've got a lot to throw at you before tomorrow's series begins. First things first, though. I have to attend a formal dinner with my best friend at 5:30pm. This, of course, lends itself to the very real possibility that I will miss the live broadcast of the game. (I have to go. I promised her that I would go with her more than 3 months ago.) BUT I will be recording the game; I will be watching it; I will be recapping it. I just wanted to let you know what was up since the recap will be coming much later than it has in the past.

Now I've got some stuff to help get the Ranger hate flowing. First up, we've got this article from Newsday.com. In it, author Arthur Staple whines that the Rangers are going up against, and I quote, "Crosby the Entity." You see, Mr. Wants-to-take-his-puck-and-go-home-already thinks that Sid has pulled the wool over all the NHL referees' eyes:

Sid the Kid is the best player in the game, but at just 20 years old, he's become a master at complaining and drawing penalties with dives or overreactions to slashes and sticks waving by his face. Which is unfortunate, because he's a pretty tough player, in addition to all that skill.

Last time I checked, getting slashed really effing hurts. There is no exaggeration when a person recoils in pain after getting slashed. Oh, and the "sticks waving by his face" crap needs only this picture for rebuttal:


And there are two more things that prove how much of a tool this guy is.

1. He called Jarrko Ruutu a "Finnish nutjob." Okay then, buddy - if Ruutu's a "nutjob," then tell me exactly what the hell Sean Avery is?!


2. This guy actually had the audacity to say that Adam Graves' slash on Mario Lemieux was an "unintentionally dirty play." WTF?! Isn't that an oxymoron? Let us not forget that Graves was suspended for 4 games for the act. The NHL doesn't hand out suspensions for accidents.
   

But as much as I hate to admit it, there is ONE thing this guy's got going for him: No matter what crap spews from his keyboard, at the end of the day, he's no Don Brennan.

In today's New York Post, Jaromir Jagr opines neither Sid nor Geno are in Mario's league:

"With all due respect for [Sidney] Crosby and [Evgeni] Malkin, I don't think they are Mario Lemieux," said Jagr.

[...]

I say that with all due respect because the game has changed.

[...]

There were games we won 6-5 that Mario scored six points. The next night, 5-3, he scored five. [Crosby] can do it once in a while but not every game like [Lemieux]."

Um, Double Joke, why bother saying that you recognize that the game today has changed if you're just going to make the comparison anyhow? Comparing the game 10 years ago to the game now is like comparing apples to oranges - which is also a lot like comparing these:

Did you ever think that Sidney Crosby reminded you of someone? Click here to see which celebrity Sports Illustrated thinks he looks like. (It's crazy! I never would have thought about it until I saw them side by side...)

I got this link to Sid's entry on SAS Wiki a while ago, and I've been holding it for a stretch of down time. I figured it would be a good way to go out before the next series started because it is hilarious right from the very start:

Sidney Patrick Crosby (born for the first time on December 25, 1 BC, in a small manger in Bethlehem, and then again on August 7, 1987, in Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia, Canada) is a professional ice hockey player for the NHL's Pittsburgh Penguins.

[...]

Crosby, being only 18, needed a place to stay in Pittsburgh. Originally he stayed with consummate bachelor, Ryan Malone, but after repeated attempts by Ryan to "get Sidney as drunk as possible and then sleep with him," Sidney sought new arrangements. Luckily, Mario Lemieux's three square mile estate had some extra room.

Make sure you check out the entire entry so you can see what it says about Sid's alleged diving...

Thank yous go out to Friends of The Show Michelle B., Paula C., and Ava H. for all the links!

Tomorrow it begins anew. Even if you're watching at home, put on a white Pens shirt or the away jersey or just a plain white t-shirt and support the whiteout. Get ready. As today's title implies, it's going to be a battle. I'm calling it now: Pens in 6. Now it's in print, and I can't go back on it. Say it with me now:

GO PENS!!!!!!!!!!!

Ottawa Writer = Lowlife

I want to share this with you first before I get you upset...

I can't even begin to express how excited I am right now about tomorrow (haha, technically, it's later today). I just got these in my inbox courtesy of my new hero Johnny B. Check these out and tell me this doesn't make you want to jump out of your seat and scream:




And now I've got two articles from the Ottawa Sun to get your blood boiling just in time for tomorrow's game. A bunch of our Friends sent these links in to me because they were OUTRAGED.

The first article, which is merely a bit annoying and is definitely not so bad by comparison to the second article, claims that the High Ankle Sprain (H.A.S. as the author, James Duthie, abbreviates it below) is the MVP of the Penguins. What irritated me about this particular journalistic gem is the following analogy:

H.A.S. No. 2 happened Jan. 18th when Crosby crashed into the boards in a game against Tampa. As he was being carried off the ice, I turned to the boys in our studio and said something to the effect of "Hasta la vista, Penguinos" (which was dated and rather lame, but it was all I had).

Oh, and it was also dead wrong.

Evgeni Malkin reacted to Crosby's absence the way placekick holder Andy Petrovic did when Gus, the field-goal kicking mule, was kidnapped in the 1976 Disney classic, aptly named Gus: The Field-Goal Kicking Mule. Andy took matters into his own hands and ran for the winning touchdown to give the California Atoms the championship.

By equating Geno's awesome accomplishments to a subpar (at best) Disney movie about a football playing ass is about as insulting as calling the Queen "Yo, Baby!" Ah, but this is just the tip of the iceberg...

The Ottawa Sun editors actually allowed this next asshat (otherwise known as Don Brennan) to publicly encourage the Senators players to injure our superstar Penguins players - Sidney, particular - in order to pull the upset. Oh no, I'm not kidding. Read on (I've included the most incriminating section of the article on the off chance that the editors come to their senses and force Brennan to remove it):

With Daniel Alfredsson and Mike Fisher out, Schubert and Antoine Vermette are the only two Ottawa players still skating that are on the first two power-play and penalty-killing units, along with taking a regular shift. In Schubert's case, his even-strength turn is as a crashing and bashing, fourth-line left winger.

In that role, he left a mark on last spring's Senators-Penguins playoff meeting.

With the series tied 1-1 and the site switched to Pittsburgh, Schubert crushed and injured defenceman Robert Scuderi with an illegal, hit-from-behind into the end boards. The Penguins were incensed and went after Schubert. They also went on to lose that game as well as the only other two in the series.

"That one hit, it was like (they were saying) 'I want to go in and hurt somebody,' " Schubert recalled. "We were there at the same time, he kind of turned away and it ended up a bad hit from behind, but I don't think I went out there to be under their skin. I just wanted to play my game. The physical part is part of it. The more physical you are against other players, everybody knows they get a little frustrated ... they can't do their perfect game. It's just part of my job."

The very banging and battering the Penguins wanted to avoid from the Flyers can serve as an equalizer in this series for the undermanned Senators. They just need to bring it. Schubert, Chris Neil, Martin Lapointe, Cody Bass, Shean Donovan, Mike Commodore and Anton Volchenkov will be key players for Ottawa.

They have to frustrate the skilled Penguins. They have to throw them off their game. Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Marian Hossa, Petr Sykora and Sergei Gonchar have to be targeted. They cannot be allowed to free-wheel without concern or they will roll right over the Senators.

Crosby's got a bad RIGHT ankle? How will it stand up to a two-hander? The Senators have to find out.

The Penguins obviously wanted Ottawa over the Broadstreet Bullies. The defending Eastern Conference champs should feel a great sense of disrespect. They should be insulted -- even more so than in being referred to as purse swingers -- and they should respond in kind.

As much as they will be looking for timely goaltending and scoring, the Senators need somebody to emerge as a modern-day Bobby Clarke. Maybe hockey historian Jason Spezza can explain to his teammates what the former Flyers captain did to Russian star Valeri Kharlamov when the latter had a bad ankle in the 1972 Summit Series.

It's playoff time. Anything goes.

There is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE FOR THIS. In no way is this journalism; this is sensationalism. It is reprehensible, irresponsible, and should have been nixed by the editors before it ever went to print. Not only does it display a lack of decency, compassion, and morality for wishing injury to another human being, but it also reeks of desperation for attention. Senators fans should be outraged, too. This article shows Brennan's complete lack of faith in the Senators' talent alone being enough to win.

Ever the level-headed leader, our title man and his large framed teammate, BIG GEORGES LARAQUE had this to say in response to Brennan's jackassery™ (from The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette):

"They can write whatever they want, but, if somebody was to do that to the best player in the world, they'll be suspended the rest of the playoffs," Penguins winger and enforcer Georges Laraque said. "That writer is just stupid. I've never heard anything so stupid."

Crosby, asked about the article, said without missing a beat, "It's my left."

He didn't seem worried.

"It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened," Crosby said. "Teams obviously read injury reports. If a guy's got a bad shoulder, I'm sure you're not going to ease up and not hit him. That's typical. Whether or not they deliberately do it, who knows? But that's why refs are out there, to police the game and make sure that stuff doesn't happen."

And if the refs won't protect Sid, we always have BGL, Hal Gill, and don't forget Scary Gary Roberts!!! He is back and ready to send the Senators to the golf course in 5 games (or less!).

[*Takes deep breath*] You better buckle your seatbelts... this series might literally be a very bumpy ride.

Big thanks go out to Johnny B. for the sweet shots of the Mellon Arena marquee, and to Ashley, Greg C., Susan W., and Michelle B. for the links to the Ottawa Sun articles.

GO PENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jealousy Is An Ugly, UGLY Thing

A friend of mine, Loser Chris from Taking One for the Team, sent me an email yesterday. I debated on whether or not I should address the content of his letter, and I have decided that I will in fact tell you, my Friends, what is going on so I could see what you all thought about it. I will say my piece only once. After that, if the subject of this next story and his readers choose to stoop to a new low and continue their unprovoked verbal assault on me, so be it. I won't waste any more of your time or my own after this - count on it.

So anyways, Chris sent me an email with the subject "Looks like you have an admirer... NOT." It contained a link to a blog that with which I was unfamiliar called Dump'N Chase. It is a Washington Capitals blog written by a man named Mike Vogel. It contains some insults aimed in both Sidney's and my directions. Now, ordinarily I wouldn't give this another thought because not everyone is going to be a fan of my style of writing, and obviously not everyone is a fan of Sidney Crosby. But then again, this is no ordinary blogger insulting me. Mike Vogel, it turns out, is the head writer for the Washington Capitals website (look for the Dump'N Chase logo on the right side of the screen). To put this into perspective for you, his post about me is the equivalent of Chris Chelios making fun of my husband's hockey skills. I am an amateur blogger. I do this in my spare time because I love doing it, Sidney is my favorite player, and I really like all of you guys.

So how, I wondered to my friend Chris, would this guy even have the time to find this little blog about Sidney Crosby if he's "busy" working for an NHL franchise? To which he responded, "Why not? It's not like he's busy waxing poetic about all those Caps Stanley Cups or doing prep work for his big Caps Playoff Preview." Touché! Another question I had - which no one but Mr. Vogel can answer - is this: why, if you don't care about Sid, are you reading my blog about him? To take it a step further, why even mention my blog in yours? Why belittle me? Are you compensating for the lack of something, be it talent or otherwise?

Additionally, a couple of the readers in the comments section in Dump'N Chase really tried to put me in my place. Just so you know, comparing me to one of Mario's kids is not the insult you think it is. I could only BE that lucky. And I was going to post my college GPA to dispel any questions about my intelligence, but I am secure enough in myself that I don't feel it is necessary.

Mr. Vogel, if the program had been called "Alexander Ovechkin Revealed," I suspect you would have been as excited for it as I was for the "Sidney Crosby Revealed" program. And that is exactly what this all boils down to: JEALOUSY. If the Caps had somehow won the Sidney Crosby lottery (as the 2005 draft was often called), you would be writing as enthusiastically about him as I do now. Does it really bother you that much that Ovechkin isn't as popular as Crosby?