Who's Now? Who Cares!!!

Well, folks, we didn't get the upset. Derek Jeter beat Sidney in their ESPN Who's Now face off (63.8% - 36.2%).

Actually, Sidney didn't stand a chance. The fans' votes counted only for 70% of the overall total, while the guest panel's vote counted for 30%. And (like you didn't see this coming) the panel gave all 30% to Jeter. So right out of the gate, the deck was stacked against Sidney. If I start going on about how much I hate ESPN, my head will explode so I'm just going to let it go. Sid, if it counts for anything (and if you're reading this - unlikely!), you're tops with all of us!

Hey ESPN: Who's now? THIS GUY.

Okay, on to more important matters. Thanks to a comment from reader Lisa-Marie reminding me of an earlier thought Jes had, I got an idea. I'm going to try something different and hold an election. Let me explain.

Jes is right: Sid the Kid doesn't work anymore. He's the MVP and the new Captain, plus he'll be 20 when the new season begins. He's a man now, and we need a new nickname for him. I'd like The Sidney Crosby Show to have its own unique nickname. We could call him "Sid Vicious," but that guy (allegedly) murdered his girlfriend - probably NOT an image Crosby wants to be associated with. The guys over at The Pensblog call him "Bing," and I don't want to copy them. So here's what I thought we could do: I will take emails from you with your suggestions for a new nickname for Sidney beginning July 12 until July 19. Then on July 20, I will post the best ones and give you a week to vote for a new nickname for Sid. I'll tell you my nomination up front: Sir Sidney. It's one of the nicknames given to Crosby by the voice of the Penguins, Mike Lange.

All right, people! Put your thinking caps on and send your suggestions to snoopyjode@gmail.com.

Again: ESPN = Joke

I know I said I'd be looking at last Sunday's free agent free-for-all, but I didn't realize my colleague, Jes, would do a similar column over at his other project, Hockey Rants. He's already done all the work, so I'm going to take the easy way out and direct you to his "The Free Agency Madness. Get Used to it!" post for all the details of Sunday's action. Besides, I've got something for YOU all to do...

We previously established that ESPN is a terrible network at least from a hockey fan's point of view, but I just heard there is yet one more reason for us to hate it. This time, the network is having a blatant popularity contest called "Who's Now: Determine the Ultimate Sports Star" in which there are four regions of 8 sports stars. The winner of each match up will advance based upon fan voting (70%) and ESPN's three-person panel (30%). The panel members for this first round are Michael Wilbon, Kirk Herbstreit, and Keyshawn Johnson.

The only NHL star to appear in the list of 32 finalists is our boy, Sidney. Not surprisingly, Sid is ranked #7 of the "Billie Jean King" bracket. He's number seven, above only surfer Kelly Slater. No offense to surfers or fans of surfers, but you simply cannot deny that Sidney Crosby > Kelly Slater by a far greater margin than that.

And here's the good part: He's being pitted against Yankee superstar, fellow Gatorade pitch man, and Avon cologne mogul Derek Jeter. Ordinarily, I would say that Sidney doesn't stand a chance against Jeter, but there is a grassroots movement in the blogosphere to get all hockey fans, even [*gasp*] Sidney-hating hockey fans to vote for the Kid in order to pull a spectacular upset on Jeter.

Now for your assignment. First and foremost:
VOTE FOR SID ON JULY 11, 2007!!!!!!
Secondly, make sure to tell all your hockey loving friends!!! Get the word out. I know a lot of you run blogs of your own; if you don't want to write an entire post about it, just create link to this one. It's not about a win for Sidney; it's a popularity contest anyways. It's about upsetting the contest and showing ESPN that there are more than "just a few" hockey fans out there. This is a chance for us to make a little noise. We're going to be up against Yankee nation, but I think we can take on the fans of these guys. ;)

Canada > USA

*** DISCLAIMER ***
Please read the entire post before you fire off a nasty email to me or leave an angry comment. If you'll recall, I'm from central PA, and this post actually has nothing to do with either country being better than the other. It's about commercials. I just wanted to do something lighthearted for fun. Well, just read on... You'll see what I mean.

---

Ah HA! Now that I have your attention, allow me to explain:

When professional athletes play, they sweat. And when they sweat, they lose electrolytes. (Do you see where I'm going with this?) Most of them choose to drink the sports drink Gatorade. It is a product most of them use and a few of them endorse - which brings me to my point. Our Canadian friends get to watch Gatorade commerials like this one starring number 87. To my knowledge, it never aired in the U.S. I know it's an old one, but it is, by far, my favorite Sidney commercial. (Here's a link to the newer one, if you want to watch that one. It's pretty good, too.) Consider this Exhibit A:

THAT is a great commercial. Its simplicity is its greatest asset. Sidney isn't portrayed as a superstar. It shows him as a regular person that loves hockey and will play anytime with anyone, anywhere. Additionally, what little kid hasn't dreamt of having his favorite superstar show up and ask to join him in his pickup game? And any commercial that features the Hanson brothers is tops with me.

Now, contrast that with this travesty of a commercial that Gatorade has begun airing here in America, otherwise known as Exhibit B:

Excuse me, but can anyone tell me what the hell just happened?! Why is Harvey Keitel on the field? What does he have to do with baseball? Is he supposed to be like the devil on Derek Jeter's shoulder? WTF?! (Seriously, if anyone out there can interpret this and clear things up for me, leave a comment or send me an email. I'd really appreciate it!) Maybe it's just me, but I think Sid's Gatorade commercials are sooooo much better than this confusing piece of crap!

And now my friends, you know why Canada > USA. Canadians get to watch Sidney Crosby hawk sports beverages in stylish advertisements that make sense to the average viewer, and we don't.